Finding Happiness in the Battle with Cancer

Meet Daily Point of Light Award honoree Erica Kerr. Read her story, and nominate an outstanding volunteer or family member as a Daily Point of Light.

Erica Kerr is a 41-year-old mother of two who lives on Long Island, New York. Erica volunteers with CholangioConnect and Cancer Hope Network.

CholangioConnect is a peer-to-peer mentorship program of the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation that allows mentors to give families and friends the necessary support for loved ones struggling with cancer diagnoses. Erica also mentors through Cancer Hope Network. She has matched with spouses, adult siblings or adult children of cancer patients through email, text and phone calls to help them navigate a difficult time.

She started volunteering at CholangioConnect in 2017, and for the past seven years, she has personally mentored 25 caregivers, providing them with compassionate support and life-saving resources.

After her father’s diagnosis of Cholangiocarcinoma, a rare cancer that develops in bile ducts, and her sister’s diagnosis of brain cancer, Erica has channeled her grief into caring for others. and values the deep and meaningful relationships she has developed with mentees worldwide.

What inspires you to volunteer?

When I graduated from Maine Counseling, I got a job at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan.During that time, a recent study dealt exclusively with terminal patients and their families, so I became passionate about that. Then it became my reality in 2012.

In December 2012, my dad was diagnosed with Colangiocarcinoma, which is a rare cancer that affects the bile ducts.

I comforted my family through the process until my dad passed in March of 2018. My daughter was three when my dad died, and my son had just celebrated his second birthday.

Once I had considered coping with my grief by taking some time for myself, I decided to volunteer as a mentor through the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation. It’s been a great experience ever since.

How did you begin volunteering with Cancer Hope Network?

At age 39 my sister was diagnosed with brain cancer, and I kind of had to go through the same experience again with my family as when my father was diagnosed. Although she’s doing excellent now and raising her daughter, my sister has had to give up a lot because of her diagnosis. But throughout it all, she started mentoring through Cancer Hope Network approximately three years ago. She asked me if I wanted to volunteer, and here I am.

What’s been the most rewarding part of your work?

Meeting families face-to-face is the most rewarding part of my volunteer service.

I mentored a woman for two years. We met one day, and I took our kids to the zoo together. It was just so lovely to spend time with her, hug her and feel her. Just knowing that neither of us was going through this alone was amazing.

Unfortunately, everyone knows somebody who has breast cancer – an aunt or sister or grandma. When I say the word Cholangiocarcinoma, nobody’s heard of it. So having someone who’s seen and dealt with it makes a difference.

What have you learned through your experiences as a volunteer?

Cancer sucks.

It affects the entire family unit, not just the patient. When I talk to family members, they say they’ve never had anyone to speak to. It feels like the family gets left behind. So, filling in those gaps is essential.

I don’t do anything miraculous. I listen. I don’t cure anything. I don’t fix anything. I just listen and relate to people so they don’t feel alone. It doesn’t matter your background. I am in contact with an American citizen born in China and her sisters in China. It doesn’t matter where in the world they are; if they can be heard, it helps a lot.

Why should others get involved with causes they care about?

If you don’t, who will?

There are organizations and causes that have many volunteers, but they can always use more. Many organizations don’t get funding, and people can’t afford to see a therapist. People must find somebody to talk to and relate to; it makes a huge difference.

People sometimes feel they don’t have the time or don’t know what to do, but everyone I’ve ever spoken to is always so grateful for any time I have.

Any advice for people who want to start volunteering?

When it feels right, just do it. It’s not always going to feel right. When my sister was diagnosed with cancer, I took a break from volunteering to focus on her health and diagnosis. I called my program leader and said I could not mentor right now.

And when I was ready to go back, I went back. So when it’s your time to do it, do it. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. But just give it a try.

What do you want people to learn from your story?

I want people to know that cancer isn’t as scary all the time as it may seem.

I find a lot of great stories from people about their fights or their family fights. Yes, it’s sad when the patient dies, but there can be so much good that comes out of it. The most important part is learning how to grieve and spending time with your loved one before the time runs out.

I don’t want people to be scared when they or their loved ones get diagnosed. It’s a universal experience. Based on my experiences, I think it’s important to know it’s not all bad and that there can be good things during the life-changing experience. It’s okay to laugh, joke and have fun, even when something so serious is present.

Do you want to make a difference in your community like Erica? Find local volunteer opportunities.