Building Families and Changing Lives

Meet Daily Point of Light Award honoree Doris Miller. Read her story, and nominate an outstanding volunteer or family as a Daily Point of Light.

It’s not often that one is in a position to see the ripple effects of the important decisions they make in their life. For Doris Miller, 71, and her late husband, adopting her two daughters after the loss of their biological son was simply a way to build their family. For their younger daughter, Ashley, it was a decision that changed everything.

In 2015, Ashley and her husband started the Selfless Love Foundation (SLF) dedicated to improving the child welfare system through advocacy, the creation of more adoption opportunities and transitional housing and training for older kids nearing independence.

“She knows where all these children are coming from, how they feel, and she feels so blessed to have been adopted,” Doris says proudly.

“Then you have these children that are never adopted. She’s trying to change a lot of that stuff, especially for the older children.”

Doris, naturally, is Ashley’s number one volunteer. Her legendary cakes are top-selling items at the yearly fundraising gala, where the organization raised a record-breaking $3.8 million last year. Even the first year raked in over $2 million.

“When my girls were growing up, they were in 4H and everybody would always want me to bake cakes or casseroles. Everyone loved my dessert, so we just started baking some cakes for the foundation,” she says, emphasizing the joy it brings her to both make them and see people enjoying them.

Funds are used to keep things running and to support adoptions. An entire team of people, including psychologists, works to match prospective parents with two or three children who would be a good fit before allowing them to meet. And the service is completely free.

“It takes year-round efforts to make it possible. Doris has done everything from helping pack swag bags to hitting the road to pick up and deliver auction items, whether it’s picking up from a donor or delivering it to the winner. She also makes her own asks and gets some auction items donated,” says Stephanie Absmeier, senior development director and the foundation’s first employee.

For kids 18 to 23 years old who have aged out of the system but aren’t ready to live on their own, SLF takes applications for Brown’s Harbor’s 20 apartments. Doris put her career in interior decorating to work to make transitional living feel like home.

“She’s done everything from decorating the apartments to being there for their holiday events. We have a boutique with household items and business and daily clothing that residents can shop for free. It’s this beautiful space where they can get essentials. And Doris has helped in that space,” Stephanie explains.

The property also invites speakers to present and has on-site foster parents who check in on residents and organize holiday celebrations.

“Once they are adopted or they come into Browns Harbor, their whole life changes. They teach those children how to interview, dress and prep for everything in their future. There are usually five of them that compete every year for funds to open up their own business,” Doris highlights, citing different SLF programs. “A lot of times children who don’t find a place like this are unhoused within a couple of years.”

Just recently, Doris was wrapping some of the over 500 annually-released Christmas ornaments for one of several fundraisers scheduled throughout the year. Other tasks in her purview range from packing and distributing holiday gifts for former foster youth to assisting at photo shoots that reunite sibling groups separated in the system. Next on her schedule is meeting the team in the new office in Austin, Texas.

Next month is National Adoption Month, and Doris is reminded of the importance of her work. SLF has assisted with more than 400 adoptions by streamlining the process.

“It’s just so heartwarming to see how you can make all these children happy by finding them homes,” she says. “You can go to the courts and sit in and watch them be adopted. If you’ve never done it, just go one time. It’s an amazing feeling.”

She reflects on how her decision to adopt has changed the course of many lives. The ripples continue, for example, when former Brown’s Harbor residents come back to help their younger brethren. It’s their joyful smiles and deep gratitude that stick with Doris the most.

“Without that act of love from Ashley’s parents, one of them being Doris, I don’t know if Selfless Love would be here,” Stephanie muses. “Doris has just really supported the organization and Ashley in whatever has been needed.”

Sadly, not all cases are smooth sailing. Sometimes siblings are split up. Sometimes there are foster parents who treat kids poorly or use the designated funds inappropriately. And cases of abuse are prevalent. But with the work of SLF and people like Doris, siblings can reunite or perhaps stay together from the beginning. Safe, secure environments can heal. And with a little hard work and luck, lives can be forever altered when families are chosen.

Doris’ dedication stems from more than just her family’s own story. The way she looks at the world motivates her to support the people around her.

“What would happen to people if we didn’t have these organizations? A big example of that is the hurricane victims right now in the Carolinas and Georgia. If they didn’t have people with good hearts going up there, where would they be?” she contemplates.

Today, a decade into retirement, Doris and her new husband live in the middle of a 159-acre ranch in Florida, with more land 2.5 times that size a few miles away.

When she’s not volunteering at Selfless Love, she enjoys spending time in her garden and helping out her community in other ways.

“I think Selfless Love is extra special given that it’s a part of her family and the legacy of her own daughter. But beyond that, I think she is equally as passionate about the importance of community and supporting one another,” Stephanie concludes. “That in itself, whenever you see somebody who has nothing to gain from doing that, is inspiring.”

Do you want to make a difference in your community like Doris? Find local volunteer opportunities.